A lovely writer once wrote: When you’re young, you have this huge desire to change the world. You’re eager to make the world a different place, a better place. Then, after years and years pass you by, you realize you haven’t really changed the world… but the world sure as hell changed you.
And as scary as the thought of not making huge changes on a global scale might be, my long term love affair with the world sure as hell changed me. While I used to think being very educated was so important… now I think being happy is far more important than that. While I used to think finding a perfect job is what you’re supposed to do… now I think finding yourself is what you have to do. I found that success is a very relative term and figured that I’ll feel successful only if I manage to find something to smile about every day.
You can realize it sooner or later, but the world also teaches you to kill everything that kills you. You don’t like where you’re living? Move, you’re not a tree. You don’t like the people you’re surrounded with? Find other people, you’re not tied to them by an umbilical cord. You don’t like your job? Quit, there are millions of ways to make money these days and not all of them include being miserable. You feel that Brad/Stacey is jerking you around? Well if you feel so, they probably are… unfortunately people tend to do that a lot nowadays… luckily, what they don’t tend to do anymore is getting married at the age of 12, which makes it a whole lot easier for you to tell them to go fuck themselves.
The world also taught me that just because someone said (s)he will do something, it does not mean they actually will – which is a quite disappointing discovery, I might add. So I try to surround myself with “prove it, don’t just say it” kind of people. To this day I’m fascinated with the amount of crap people can tell you. However, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that people who “cry wolf” over and over again get eaten by wolves in the end! So rather than being a (wo)man of big words – try being a (wo)man of big actions (that way even if the wolf comes you’ll be able to do something, cause I’m quite sure they don’t fall for big words).
Be honest and clear about what you feel and want. I try to apply that in my life as much as I can (even if it means saying no to someone, or saying no to myself). And I still don’t have perfect relationships (unless you consider my relationship with ice cream), but at least I feel true to myself. We live in a “play games type society”, especially when it comes to relationships. But if I’m playing a game am I really getting what I want? Let’s say I really want fruit loops (cause let’s face it – who wouldn’t want fruit loops?) But I don’t tell you I want fruit loops cause that’d be too revealing and it might scare you away. Moreover, I’m having cornflakes in front of you to create a diversion. Would that make you wanna buy me fruit loops or you’d just think I’m a cornflakes kind of gal?? Not being honest is a loose – loose situation. Not being honest gives you a wrong impression on what kind of gal I am and it leaves me hanging without the fruit loops.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, or even better – do stuff that don’t make you sweat at all. We all go through a zillion of emotional mini dramas each day. So each time a mini drama occurs I ask myself if that’s something I’ll remember when I m grey & old … Let’s say Brad hasn’t texted today even though he said he would – it might seem as a big deal today, but I don’t think I’ll remember that when I’m grey & old. On the other hand I could do something that doesn’t make me sweat at all – like dance my ass off and start feeling great cause I’m an awesome dancer (and yes, I get the irony – dancing does make you sweat, but I’m kind of using metaphors here).
Basically, what I want to say is: it’s awesome if you’re eager to change the world, to make it a different place, a better place. But if you too realize you haven’t changed it much, at least try to understand how the world changed you – cause that, my dear friend, is one hell of a change as well!
